Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

17 reviews

lenorayoder's review against another edition

emotional

• Loveable characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

Better than I thought it would be, but not as good as I hoped it would be once I got into it. It's very interesting to read a fucked up relationship develop from the perspective of the people in it. They do love each other, but they're also overly dependent, unhealthy, and don't communicate well. They are the only people who understand each other, but it is because they have both engineered it to be so. On some level they both know the relationship is doomed, but they don't want to be without each other.

I found the way the author handled time travel interesting, especially the implications of Clare's

deja vu moments, and the sketch with the trimmed date

. The underlying terror that Henry almost constantly feels permeates the book, and one of the unvoiced stumbling blocks of their relationship is that Clare never really seems to understand that fear -

evidenced by the fact that she so desires to have a child that will likely have the same terrible condition

. The way Niffenegger's chosen to depict this story and time travel unfortunately means that the reader never really gets to sit with these characters, and by the end of the book I still felt like I didn't really know them, just their relationship. I wish the book was more narrow in scope, or gave us more insight into what Clare and Henry are like apart. The Time Traveler's Wife is a compelling title, but the book is not about Clare, it's entirely about Clare and Henry's relationship with everything else serving as set dressing. 

Overall enjoyed and would recommend. Sometimes the descriptions and references get a little self-indulgent and pretentious, but seeing this complex relationship evolve from the perspective of two incredibly biased narrators was always interesting and page-turning. Also,

fuck you Gomez. Cherisse, why the fuck did you marry that man, let alone have kids with him. Yikes

. I had to list so many content warnings and I didn't even get them all. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Miscarriage

Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Drug use, Gun violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, Car accident, Death of parent, Pregnancy, and Alcohol

Minor: Domestic abuse, Fatphobia, Gore, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Rape, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Violence, Vomit, Medical content, and Injury/Injury detail

datskira's review against another edition

emotional mysterious sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

1.5

So disappointed after loving the movie. Way too much filler content and cringe moments/smut. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Miscarriage, Sexual content, Medical content, Medical trauma, Car accident, Death of parent, and Pregnancy

Moderate: Alcoholism, Sexual assault, Suicide, Toxic relationship, and Medical content

Minor: Blood

jaina8851's review against another edition

medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

1.25

Where do I even begin with this book. I had no intention of ever reading this, because I have seen the basic gist in way too much of Steven Moffat's Doctor Who writing (derogatory). My book club picked it for this month and I decided to slog my way through.

Reader, it was just as bad as I imagined. Reading interviews with the author somehow made it worse. She says in a modern interview regarding Steven Moffat's own TV series version of this book (you'd think he'd get tired of creating the same story over and over again) that the reader is *supposed* to be uncomfortable with the idea of adult Henry visiting child Clare repeatedly, but then in other interviews describes Henry as "there's not going to be some fabulous perfect soulmate out there for me, so I'll just make him up", so which is it, Audrey?

My biggest issue with this book is that I didn't care a single bit about either of our main characters. Clare is effectively a cardboard cut-out that has a trauma porn life journey but we never see any of the consequences. Imagine basically any of the big-T traumas that a wealthy beautiful woman in Chicago might undergo, and Clare lives it. Are we ever inside her head long enough to feel her grapple with these things? No. Because the entire focus of this book is about the time travel schtick. We are instead shown scenes that are gruesome and difficult for the reader to read, but that seem to just be par for the course for Clare, because she always just seems to be fine and solely focused on Henry at the expense of literally anything else. Henry's internal monologue is absolutely insufferable. I nearly threw my phone across the room and quit when he described his erection as "tall enough to ride an amusement park ride without a parent" in the first thirty pages of the book. I couldn't find myself caring about Henry or his struggles at any point because I was too busy making increasingly horrified grimaces at the things that he was thinking, often about an actual child.

And then there's the time travel schtick itself. I *LOVE* time travel stories. I've read gobs of Doctor Who/Torchwood fanfiction that incorporate timey-wimey stuff, ranging from silly nonsense to deeply thoughtful explorations of the concepts that I still think about. But I kept getting so caught up on the inconsistencies and the "y tho" about the way the author constructed this. Did she only make it that he time travels naked so that there was the creepy ick factor of child Clare finding him that way? The hand-wavey in universe explanation for why he consistently goes back and visits child Clare just didn't make sense to me. There's a running joke in Doctor Who about the fact that of all the places on planet Earth, and the broader solar system and universe, why is the crisis ALWAYS in London, and this felt like an even more egregious and nonsensical version of that. They talk about the danger of him driving a car or flying in a plane but then have him walking around with a baby on his shoulders. Life is so dangerous for him when he travels that he has to know how to pick locks and fight, but somehow he isn't WELL KNOWN in the city of Chicago? How would it not be a news story the FIRST time this happens that a man disappears in public before people's very eyes leaving a pile of clothes behind, or that a man appears on the middle of a sidewalk out of nowhere completely naked? If he keeps time traveling in and out of the same places and times, why does he not do a better job taking care of himself with caches of supplies and hidden keys than just trusting a six year old to keep clothes for him? Nothing about this story makes sense actually.

All in all I hated this book just as much as I expected to. I don't normally make myself read 500+ page/16+ hour books that I hate, but you can't leave ratings on a DNF, so I finished the whole thing out of spite. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Infertility, Miscarriage, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicide, Toxic relationship, and Medical trauma

hjb_128's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

2.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Cancer, Cursing, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Gun violence, Infertility, Miscarriage, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Murder, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Pregnancy, Abandonment, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

Moderate: Racism

agw622's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

This is such a captivating book. The time traveling is well handled. The overlaps are used to add suspense especially at the end. It can be quite intense and sad at places. While not a happy read, it's an amazing read.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Mental illness, Miscarriage, Self harm, Suicide, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, and Death of parent

Moderate: Alcoholism, Sexual assault, and Toxic relationship

Minor: Sexual content

riverofhorton's review against another edition

I had to take a couple of days to cool off after deciding to stop reading this book, I just found there to be too much homophobia, racism, and misogyny to continue.

The final straw for me was getting jumpscared by an utterly needless homophobic slur (as it was until very recently) less than 100 pages in. Given the 'past' parts of the book are set in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, I could have deal with some casual prejudice, so as the world was at that time, especially if it were there to make a point and/or portray that character as being a negative person. But these prejudices are not only blatant, but could have been removed from the story without it losing anything.

And there is also the moral weirdness surrounding the relationship between itself. From Claire's perspective, she first met Henry at the age of ~5 years old, when he was in his 40s. He visited her regularly growing up, even waiting for her to turn 18 so he could have sex with her on her birthday. Sounds creepy, right? From his perspective though, he first her in his late 20s, her being early 20s, and the relationship proceeded somewhat normally to begin with, only a couple of mentions of how long she has known a future version of him. It's just kind of a mess, and considering he could time travel as a child as well, I don't quite understand why he couldn't have been a child of a similar age, or even have the whole thing contain within their respective adulthoods.

It's such a shame, the basic premise of two people falling in love out of sync because of time travel has the potential to be incredible, but this was just a disappointment. It's the first book I've ever DNFed, and it saddens me that it's a Sci-Fi book (one of my favourite genres) that can claim that title.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gore, Gun violence, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Kidnapping, Grief, Stalking, Car accident, Abortion, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

passionatereader78's review against another edition

adventurous challenging emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Wonderfully written book! I enjoyed this exploration of time travel. I loved the relationship between Claire and Henry. There is so much heat in theses pages! I love the way the story was easy to follow. The time jumps were uncomplicated and I could follow the plot. I loved everything about this book!
This is Henry and Claire's beautifully complicated love story!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Infertility, Sexual content, Grief, Car accident, Death of parent, Pregnancy, and Abandonment

Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Gun violence, Miscarriage, Self harm, Toxic relationship, and Alcohol

lizzye33's review against another edition

adventurous challenging emotional hopeful inspiring lighthearted mysterious reflective relaxing sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Grief, and Death of parent

Moderate: Toxic relationship, Blood, and Injury/Injury detail

Minor: Alcoholism, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Police brutality, Car accident, Murder, and Alcohol

taylormadespines's review against another edition

This story has not aged well. Henry is a groomer through and through. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body horror, Cancer, Chronic illness, Death, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Police brutality, Medical content, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Stalking, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Murder, Pregnancy, and Gaslighting

ejoymiller11's review against another edition

emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

I am not usually a tough critic, but I did not love this for several reasons. 

1. This story (in my opinion) was told backwards, and would last the test of time better had it been told the other way around. Being about time travel, the story bounces around quite a bit. However, I would argue the story more closely follows Clare’s linear timeline. Before we actually get to know the two main characters as a couple, the first half of the book is about how Clare knew Henry as a child and teenager. We learn about Henry’s lustful thoughts about her even when she is underage, even when she is prepubescent, which made me very uncomfortable. In my opinion, had we learned about their adult relationship first by strictly following Henry’s timeline, and had Henry just straight up not had inappropriate thoughts about a CHILD, I think the relationship would seem less creepy (but let’s be honest, some of what happened would be creepy, inappropriate, and sick regardless). 

2. About 200 pages of the 536 pages I read weren’t relevant. I don’t understand why certain scenes were necessary as they didn’t contribute to the plot, character development, or context of the story. The whole infidelity thing? For what. 

3. INCONSISTENCIES. And inaccuracies. Some of this book just straight up didn’t make sense. I found myself wondering SO many times, “did the author do literally ANY research??” Yes, probably with certain art pieces and music mentioned in the story, but certainly not how pregnancy, miscarriage, birth, hypothermia, and other medical things work. Furthermore, so many times the book would mention something like “they decided to leave the kids at home!” And on the next page, “the kids were playing quietly in the corner.” Like did no one proofread this? I’m lost. 

4. Sometimes it was really hard to understand who was speaking. The book bounces between Henry’s and Clare’s perspectives, but in sections of the dialogue there are long stretches with no indication of who is speaking. Several times I had to go back and reread to understand the context of what was happening and what the characters were feeling. 

I felt like this was a great concept that was so poorly executed. This could be a fantastic, timeless love story, but it just fell flat for me. The writing combined with the characters who weren’t just flawed, but horrible people, ruined it for me.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Miscarriage, Suicide, and Car accident

Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Cancer, Chronic illness, Drug use, Infertility, Infidelity, Toxic relationship, Violence, Medical content, Medical trauma, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail