A review by haloblues
Headcase by Onley James

4.0

Okay, I don't know how this series keeps hitting on my very specific kinks every time, but hot DAMN these two. (Also, it was really nice to see an actual conversation touching on sub-drop in a book; that's a first for me.)

I do concur with other reviewers that I wanted more of the Asa/Avi dynamic, though! Hopefully that shows through a bit more in Avi's book (I was also very intrigued by that discussion re: possibility of Asa/Zane/Avi/Felix).

Details: Alternating POVs, third-person, past tense
Favourite character: Asa
Happy ending?: Yes 

Favourite quotes:
“Your mom’s a two-time felon who runs with one of the most violent biker gangs in the US territories.”

Blake fell into the swivel chair in front of Zane’s desk, spinning it a few times before he peeled back the paper on his pastrami sandwich. “And your mom is a gin-swilling narcissist who spends her days sucking the hopes and dreams out of people like a dementor. The only difference in our moms, man, is capital. One’s rich, one’s poor. They’re both shitty people.”


He was heroin-chic pretty. Rock star pretty. Just this side of too thin, but put him in a pair of leather pants and a fur-coat and girls would throw their panties at him before the house went dark.
Somehow, it worked.


The rules on reporters—and wannabe reporters—were very clear in the Mulvaney house. Don’t talk to reporters. Don’t react to reporters. And while his father had never uttered the words ‘don’t fuck reporters,’ Asa assumed it was implied.


If anybody had told him five years ago that August would be the first of them to have kids, Asa would have laughed himself sick. His older brother was the most twisted and depraved of them all. He loved killing more than Asa or Avi. More than that, he loved torturing them. Reveled in it, even. And now, he had babies. Tiny human babies, who gazed up at him with huge green eyes, implicitly trusting his maniac brother to care for them.

And he did.


“Yeah, they’re babies being raised by a psychic and a serial killer,” Asa reminded, eyes widening as something occurred to him. “Oh, God. And the serial killer is the voice of reason.”


"Atticus obsesses over that dumb cat of yours—”

Jericho pointed the ax at him. “That cat is his. One hundred percent. Every time I come home, that fuzzy little shit is sleeping on my fucking pillow now.”


When they reached the Rover, Asa gestured to the backseat. “Chop-chop, young lovers. There’s fuckery afoot.”


“You probably shouldn’t tell people that you became an architect because you wanted to play God by turning skyscrapers into your own personal ant farm and that you’re just one bad day away from shaking it like an Etch-A-Sketch.”

Asa smiled. “I keep my thinking thoughts to myself.”

“Your what?”

“Noah says, ‘Those are thinking thoughts, not speaking thoughts.’ But you asked why I do what I do, and I told you I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Asa looked so proud of himself for not lying about secretly being a nihilistic anarchist that Zane almost felt guilty for saying, “You’re batshit crazy.”


"But your husband was an FBI agent when you met, no? Did he know your secret before you started seeing each other?”

Lucas grinned. “Yes. He broke into my house, told me he was Batman, and then stabbed himself.”


“What’s up, baby daddy? Or daddy of babies? How are the littles? Give them a squish for me.”

August sighed. “Calliope, please stop calling me that.”

“Don’t,” Lucas cut in. “Don’t ever stop calling him that. The girls are good. I’ll give them all the squishes."


“But really, Dad. Zane likes me. Well, okay, I don’t know that he likes me exactly, but we have this thing, this connection. We get each other. I think he might be my person.”

“Your person?” Thomas echoed.

“Yeah, you know, like Noah, Lucas, and Jericho are for the others. I think Zane’s supposed to be my person.”


But nobody was safe around Asa. Except Zane. They’d barely known each other a day but Zane knew, deep down, that Asa would gut anybody who looked at him sideways, and that knowledge made Zane want to do very bad things for Asa. Made him willing to hurt for him, debase himself for him.


“That’s not going to happen, Lois. Relationships are what you make them. Our goals and values are very much aligned. We have an amazing sex life. You’ll never want for any material possession you desire. If you need something from me emotionally, I’ll learn. I’ll figure it out. You don’t have to be afraid of me. I decided you were it for me the moment you put those handcuffs back on.”

Zane wasn’t sure he was still breathing. As far as proposals went, it was a pretty good one.



He looked at Zane and there was this gut punch of need, this primitive, animalistic knowledge that Zane belonged to him, was made for him, was meant to be loved and fucked and protected by him. He wanted to hurt him so he could heal him. He wanted to know that he was the only one Zane trusted to bend him without breaking him.


Zane tried not to be obvious, but when Asa pinched his side, he forced himself to drag his gaze away. It wasn’t his fault Thomas Mulvaney was a snack.


He gave him the vodka. The emotional support vodka. That was what it was called. Somebody had even written it on the label with Sharpie. Noah’s Emotional Support Vodka. Do Not Touch. But he had touched it. So much of it.

Sorry, Noah.


Zane stared at him for so long, Asa thought, for a minute, he’d broken him somehow. Then, finally, he said, “Did you ask me to fuck your brother last night?”

Asa blinked at him, dumbfounded. “Well, that was a hell of a non sequitur, Lois. No, I absolutely did not ask you to fuck my brother. Which, by the way, is a sentence I never expected to utter out loud.”

“Did I imagine that?” Zane said. “God, that’s embarrassing.”

“No, what I said was that my brother and I have shared…bedmates…in the past, and then you asked if I expected you to have sex with my brother.”

Zane frowned until creases formed between his brows in that way that he did when he was concentrating really hard. “What did you say?”

“I countered and asked if you wanted to fuck my brother.”

“Then what did I say?” Zane asked, dread leaching into his tone.

Asa grinned. “I believe you said it wasn’t a deal breaker.”

“Oh, my God,” Zane said around a groan. “That’s so embarrassing.”

“That you’d consider fucking my brother and Felix?”

“And Felix?” Zane shouted, then winced. “I’ve never even seen Felix. Why was I so horny?”

“I don’t know, but you definitely wanted to get down last night. Were rather insistent, even. I feared for my virtue,” Asa teased.


“Yes,” Zane added fiercely. “When can we start cutting off appendages?”

“I like him,” Archer said, pointing in Zane’s direction. “You can keep him.”


“Lois, believe me when I say this. It will be a cold day in hell before I ever let you do anything murdery without me.” There was no missing the way Zane’s pupils dilated, his tongue darting out to lick over his lower lip. Asa pressed his lips to his ear. “That turned you on, didn’t it? You're such a freak, I love it. Let’s go eat, Lois. I’ll even let you give me a handjob on the way.”

“Wow, what a treat,” Zane quipped.

Asa grinned. “I’m a giver.”


Zane nodded. “Okay. Then you can feed me. I’m starving.”

Asa gave him a funny look. “I remember when I had to force-feed you. Now, you’re hungry all the time. Like a baby bird. ‘Feed me. Feed me. Feed me.’”


Asa’s brows knitted together. “I tell you I love you all the time.”

“Yeah, but you tell me you love Swiss Cake Rolls with the same level of fervor,” Zane reminded him.

“Duh, because I do. A man can love more than one thing. It doesn’t negate the other.”

Zane leveled a flat stare at him.

“Okay, like, if I had to choose between you and a box of Little Debbie’s, I’d definitely choose you. But you both hit just right,” he said with a grin, giving Zane a deep kiss.

Zane slapped his shoulder. “Come on, Asa. Be serious. I know psychopaths can’t love. Is what we have enough to keep you happy forever?”

Asa sighed. “Are you asking if I feel that weird goopy feeling when I look at you that people talk about in romance novels? If so, the answer is no. I don’t have the ability to feel that. But whenever you walk into a room, I feel grateful you’re mine. I feel calmer knowing you’re there, where I can see you, protect you…” He kissed Zane’s lips softly. “Do dirty, dirty things to you whenever I want.” Zane opened his mouth to speak, but Asa pinched his lips shut. “I know people who’d give anything to have what we have. I’ve killed for you. I would die for you. I will put your wants and needs above mine forever because I want you to be happy. Is that love? Because when you’re not around, I feel like there’s…a splinter under my ribcage, and it only goes away when I see your face. That’s enough for me. Is it enough for you?”

Zane swallowed hard, tears rolling down his cheeks. “That’s enough.”
 
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