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A review by emilynied
Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates
challenging
dark
informative
fast-paced
3.75
This book is necessary - even more so now I think than it was in 2020. I knew little of "incels" prior to starting this read, and think my only previous knowledge in the pop culture sphere was Harry Styles in "Don't Worry Darling" (which is kinda sad on my part tbh). It's clear that activist Laura Bates spent a lot of time researching for this nonfiction book and much of what she discusses is from her own experiences. She's been the target of many misogynistic attacks online due to her women's rights work and the fact that she chose to go undercover into incel internet corners to document the horrific things they write about and discuss on a daily basis... I can't even imagine the emotional toll that might have on a person.
The book explores not only incels but "pick-up artists," MGTOW, Men's Rights Activists and how they are interconnected with other extremist movements like white supremacists and Neo-Nazis. It's also discussed how the internet, which is becoming more and more consumed by younger audiences is amassing young boys to extremist world views and YouTube "stars" that encourage misogynistic ways of thinking. Bates actually treats this topic with care, and writes of young boys being slowly socialized cautiously and thoroughly.
This was a tough one to get through - I think at times it felt like too much of an onslaught of misogynistic comments, scary anecdotes and real world instances of women being killed or raped or sexually assaulted. I think if those parts were broken up a little more with some more solutions or commentary, it would have been more of a digestible read. Bates does take some time int he last part of the book to leave the reader on a hopeful note, but I think more sections of the book could have been dedicated to that cause - I finished feeling pretty terrified for the future, to be honest.
I also think it did a fairly good job of being intersectional and speaking of the specific problems that Black women and Asian women face (though I would read other reviews by Black and Asian readers to hear their perspective) - I would have liked to see more about Native American women (but that truthfully could have a whole other book with how much there is to explore) but I understand the goal here of speaking more to the men generally.
The book explores not only incels but "pick-up artists," MGTOW, Men's Rights Activists and how they are interconnected with other extremist movements like white supremacists and Neo-Nazis. It's also discussed how the internet, which is becoming more and more consumed by younger audiences is amassing young boys to extremist world views and YouTube "stars" that encourage misogynistic ways of thinking. Bates actually treats this topic with care, and writes of young boys being slowly socialized cautiously and thoroughly.
This was a tough one to get through - I think at times it felt like too much of an onslaught of misogynistic comments, scary anecdotes and real world instances of women being killed or raped or sexually assaulted. I think if those parts were broken up a little more with some more solutions or commentary, it would have been more of a digestible read. Bates does take some time int he last part of the book to leave the reader on a hopeful note, but I think more sections of the book could have been dedicated to that cause - I finished feeling pretty terrified for the future, to be honest.
I also think it did a fairly good job of being intersectional and speaking of the specific problems that Black women and Asian women face (though I would read other reviews by Black and Asian readers to hear their perspective) - I would have liked to see more about Native American women (but that truthfully could have a whole other book with how much there is to explore) but I understand the goal here of speaking more to the men generally.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny and Sexism
Minor: Rape, Sexual assault, and Sexual violence