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A review by malecluvbot
Queried Sick by Dallas Smith
emotional
funny
lighthearted
relaxing
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
5.0
So, I've got a few things to say about the book, mostly good ones, I swear.
Let's start with the plot itself. Personally, I did not find it to be revolting, really. It was quite simple, which would make sense given that this was a debut novel. there were two queer characters who got off on the wrong foot, making one of them (Ezra) feel like the other (Oliver) hated him, which was not true. They had a couple common friends- Ryan and Anna, who had their wedding date fixed in a few months (until COVID ruined their plans).
Oliver was in charge of training Ezra as he just started out as an editorial assistant, and while at it, Oliver would barely make conversation and leave Ezra with documents on everything he needed to know, which eventually started infuriating the former, and he complained to Ryan (his dad owned the company) who, in turn, subtly talked to Oliver about it. It worked and Oliver let Ezra to handle which books they would accept on behalf of their company to go forward with the publishing. That started off a hilarious series of interactions between the two MMCs, where Ezra would send certain quotes or extracts from submitted excerpts from various authors.
1. “She fiddled with the seam of her dress with anxiety ridden phalanges.”
2. “And suddenly, his flesh pillows were on her ear lobe, and she was melting into his touch.”
3. “I’ll say this: she may be completely tone deaf, but she has an ass that sings like an angel.”
4. “Her breasts smiled as he walked into the room. God, he was handsome.”
Let's start with the plot itself. Personally, I did not find it to be revolting, really. It was quite simple, which would make sense given that this was a debut novel. there were two queer characters who got off on the wrong foot, making one of them (Ezra) feel like the other (Oliver) hated him, which was not true. They had a couple common friends- Ryan and Anna, who had their wedding date fixed in a few months (until COVID ruined their plans).
Oliver was in charge of training Ezra as he just started out as an editorial assistant, and while at it, Oliver would barely make conversation and leave Ezra with documents on everything he needed to know, which eventually started infuriating the former, and he complained to Ryan (his dad owned the company) who, in turn, subtly talked to Oliver about it. It worked and Oliver let Ezra to handle which books they would accept on behalf of their company to go forward with the publishing. That started off a hilarious series of interactions between the two MMCs, where Ezra would send certain quotes or extracts from submitted excerpts from various authors.
1. “She fiddled with the seam of her dress with anxiety ridden phalanges.”
2. “And suddenly, his flesh pillows were on her ear lobe, and she was melting into his touch.”
3. “I’ll say this: she may be completely tone deaf, but she has an ass that sings like an angel.”
4. “Her breasts smiled as he walked into the room. God, he was handsome.”
But my personal favorite being:
Ezra: “Samson waddled forward, careful not to get his flipper in the puddle of vermillion hemoglobin and plasma leaking out of the body of the mayor that laid before him in the middle of the floor."
Oliver: I’m almost afraid to ask, but by flipper they mean…?
Ezra: He's a penguin.
Oliver: And is the mayor also a penguin?
Ezra: Yes
Oliver: Is everyone a penguin?
Ezra: I don’t think so. The mayor’s secretary seems to be human. I think this might be a Detective Pikachu situation.
OH, and especially:
“He stood there, mouth gaped open, his velvet wrapped steel pulsing as he watched her undress.”
This was just the beginning of what seemed to be a very beautifully crafted romance, of which I devoured every bit. Oliver is a soup fan and dad to a beautiful Himalayan rag-doll mix cat, Fiona, who played her part in the story so beautifully.
"I don’t want to mess this up. Yeah, I’m fairly certain he likes me back because we’ve at least texted almost every day since May and FaceTimed every night for the past 2 months to watch tv together. But what if I’m wrong? What if he doesn’t like me back and me saying something ruins our friendship? Or what if he does like me, but he hasn’t said anything because he doesn’t want to date me, so me saying something also ruins our friendship?"
"Yeah, we’ve been out of crush territory for a while now.
There’s just something about him. He makes me feel good about myself and I didn’t realize how much I needed that after all the shit with my mom. I know it’ll probably sound crazy, but it feels like he came into my life at the right time. His friendship is important to me so what if I’m wrong? I don’t want to lose him. I’d rather only ever be friends than have nothing at all."
And when they finally got together, it was magical and emotional and all the things you would want your relationship to be.
But this wasn’t a hookup or a fling. This was Oliver, and in that moment, all he wanted was to feel that closeness. The connection. That feeling of being so full of another person, it was almost impossible to tell where one person ended and the other began.
“I want to see you every day and meet all of your friends. To make you omelets in the morning and lie in bed while drinking tea and reading a book. I want to run you warm baths when your joints are all flared up. I want everything, and I know it probably seems like it’s too fast, but I can’t help it. I’m crazy about you, and I really hope I didn’t screw things up by being a coward. I did not handle the situation well at all. I let my anxiety take control. I can’t promise that I won’t ever worry about you, but I can promise to work on understanding my anxiety so I can try to keep a more level head, at least. I want to be there for you no matter what. I realize I didn’t show it very well last week, so I don’t expect you to believe me. But I’ll do whatever I can to prove that because I really mean it when I say I want everything.”
The quarantine portrayal of the book was absolutely bang on, capturing the essence of the whole time, where every one of us was frustrated and cranky and inexplicably irritable at all times. Yes, the book followed the theme of romance, where there was a misunderstanding that stood to threaten their relationship, only for them to recover and come back stronger. It might be a little stereotypical, but sometimes, that's a good thing, right?
As you can see, I am mesmerized by the book, by the tropes, by the romance and especially by the characters, all of them- Ryan and Anna, Mary and Robin, Ezra's sister (Josie) and her daughter Willow. This was me giving them shoutouts. Especially our girl, Fiona. The story would have been incomplete without her.
As you can see, I am mesmerized by the book, by the tropes, by the romance and especially by the characters, all of them- Ryan and Anna, Mary and Robin, Ezra's sister (Josie) and her daughter Willow. This was me giving them shoutouts. Especially our girl, Fiona. The story would have been incomplete without her.