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A review by lilyrooke
The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver
4.0
The irritation of his friend-with-benefits telling him he loves him is something Neil could really do without. With Josh showing no signs of giving up, Neil enlists his hated roommate Wyatt as a fake date to his brother's wedding. Now, Neil has to survive his emotionally abusive mother and transphobic grandparents while tolerating the impossibly nice Wyatt, who is on his own journey towards understanding their gender identity.
Neil is an excellent example of an unlikeable character who is mean with a reason. Brusque and direct, Neil unapologetically rips up his happiness and pushes everyone away, constantly self-sabotaging and definitely living up to the front cover trashfire of this book. But Neil is also chronically anxious, in a way you don't often see represented in YA fiction. He's not adorable or sweet or shy, he's cruel and abrasive and waspish, mostly unapologetically, because he'd rather hurt someone before they hurt him. He doesn't even feel much, because he's so sick of being hurt. It's a rare and honest portrayal. I have my own separate headcanons for Neil but as nothing is confirmed on-page I'll keep those private.
The narrator of the audiobook did an excellent job of bringing life to Neil, and I think I enjoyed the book more listening to it than I might have reading it, because of the narrator's ability to help me empathise with Neil. It made me really happy to see how smoothly Neil transitioned from referring to Wyatt as he/him to they/them. As always with Mason Deaver's work, the experiences of trans characters across the umbrella are rendered with honesty and relatability. Sometimes I felt the pacing of the book was off, but overall it's a solid companion to I Wish You All the Best.
Spoiler
theirNeil is an excellent example of an unlikeable character who is mean with a reason. Brusque and direct, Neil unapologetically rips up his happiness and pushes everyone away, constantly self-sabotaging and definitely living up to the front cover trashfire of this book. But Neil is also chronically anxious, in a way you don't often see represented in YA fiction. He's not adorable or sweet or shy, he's cruel and abrasive and waspish, mostly unapologetically, because he'd rather hurt someone before they hurt him. He doesn't even feel much, because he's so sick of being hurt. It's a rare and honest portrayal. I have my own separate headcanons for Neil but as nothing is confirmed on-page I'll keep those private.
The narrator of the audiobook did an excellent job of bringing life to Neil, and I think I enjoyed the book more listening to it than I might have reading it, because of the narrator's ability to help me empathise with Neil. It made me really happy to see how smoothly Neil transitioned from referring to Wyatt as he/him to they/them. As always with Mason Deaver's work, the experiences of trans characters across the umbrella are rendered with honesty and relatability. Sometimes I felt the pacing of the book was off, but overall it's a solid companion to I Wish You All the Best.