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A review by whatmeganreads
This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel
5.0
(4.5) My goal at the beginning of this year was to read more books with content/storylines outside my scope of experience and understanding. I have repeatedly over the last few months thought, “It’s so easy to make assumptions/judgements/classifications about people if you don’t know anyone like that, or have no tangible way to imagine how they feel.” So….this book. Words/phrases that I jotted down while reading: heartbreaking, thought provoking, thankful, guilty, aching, overwhelming, ashamed, hopeful. The writing and storyline were both fantastic – the dialogue was on point. The characters felt absolutely real and authentic. But the content is intense. The feelings are intense.
Now…did the core of my belief system change? No. Did my level of empathy expand? Yes. Did the challenge to myself to continually show love and grace to others grow? Yes. Do I feel like I learned something? Absolutely. Do I have more questions and swirly, confusing thoughts about this topic than when I started? Yep, but that’s a good thing, because I’M THINKING ABOUT IT. Was it a worthwhile and enjoyable read for me? 100%. I’ll be mulling over this book for a long, long time.
Quotes I wrote down:
Bedtime was a study in Chaos Theory. ***Can SO relate to that one. :)
She wanted to go to school with him. She wanted to don a gang jacket and sit in the back of the classroom with a bat so that everyone understood what would happen to them if they messed with her kid. ***Yep, can relate to that one too!
It was important to keep his face exactly neutral. He froze his eyes and eyebrows and lips and mouth and cheeks. He tried hard to go into a coma. “Don’t look so excited,” she said. “I’m too tired to do anything but sleep.”
This is how it always is. You have to make these huge decisions on behalf of your kid, this tiny human whose fate and future is entirely in your hands, who trusts you to know what’s good and right and then to be able to make that happen. You never have enough information. You don’t get to see the future. And if you screw up, if with your incomplete, contradictory information you make the wrong call, well, nothing less than your child’s entire future and happiness is at stake. It’s impossible. It’s heartbreaking. It’s maddening. But there’s no alternative.
Now…did the core of my belief system change? No. Did my level of empathy expand? Yes. Did the challenge to myself to continually show love and grace to others grow? Yes. Do I feel like I learned something? Absolutely. Do I have more questions and swirly, confusing thoughts about this topic than when I started? Yep, but that’s a good thing, because I’M THINKING ABOUT IT. Was it a worthwhile and enjoyable read for me? 100%. I’ll be mulling over this book for a long, long time.
Quotes I wrote down:
Bedtime was a study in Chaos Theory. ***Can SO relate to that one. :)
She wanted to go to school with him. She wanted to don a gang jacket and sit in the back of the classroom with a bat so that everyone understood what would happen to them if they messed with her kid. ***Yep, can relate to that one too!
It was important to keep his face exactly neutral. He froze his eyes and eyebrows and lips and mouth and cheeks. He tried hard to go into a coma. “Don’t look so excited,” she said. “I’m too tired to do anything but sleep.”
This is how it always is. You have to make these huge decisions on behalf of your kid, this tiny human whose fate and future is entirely in your hands, who trusts you to know what’s good and right and then to be able to make that happen. You never have enough information. You don’t get to see the future. And if you screw up, if with your incomplete, contradictory information you make the wrong call, well, nothing less than your child’s entire future and happiness is at stake. It’s impossible. It’s heartbreaking. It’s maddening. But there’s no alternative.