A review by damalireads
Real Life by Brandon Taylor

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

“This could be their life together, each moment shared, passed back and forth between each other to alleviate the pressure, the awful pressure of having to hold on to time for oneself. This is perhaps why people get together in the first place. The sharing of time. The sharing of the responsibility of anchoring oneself in the world.”

I was totally unprepared for how much I was invested in and gutted by this book.

Initially, you think this is going to be a Standard Campus Novel. We have a queer black PhD candidate (believe it’s biology?) approaching his 4th year, feeling uncertain of his place in his lab, amongst his friends, in academia, and as a Southern boy living in the Midwest. The central plot seemingly surrounds a sabotaged experiment, but as you read on, you begin to see the acute conflicts and pain inflicted upon Wallace from multiple sources. As Wallace struggles with belonging, you begin to question if that acceptance is possible or even worth the trouble.

There is a quiet brilliance woven through the entire novel. Jeremy O. Harris described Real Life as a novel that “excavates the profound from the mundane”, and I think that’s the perfect description. Wallace, at heart, is an observer constantly dissecting the people and the interactions around him. When a friend is worried about their boyfriend opening up their relationship, Wallace attributes this to really a fear of losing the “inoculation against the uncertainty of the future” that a relationship brings. When he is subject to microagressions and blatant racism by his peers, Wallace notes that in the rare times he raises the issue, he finds that white people hold his accusations “up to the light and try to discern if you are telling the truth…As if they can tell by the grain if something is racist or not, and they always trust their own judgement.” When he’s assaulted by a lover, who is reeling from exposing his deepest secrets, Wallace notes that the cruelty he experiences is a “conduit of pain…a delivery system, as in the way that certain viruses convey illness, disease, irreparable harm.” It’s in these moments that Taylor shines and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. As Wallace takes the time to turn these astute observations inward, it peaks in a chapter where he recounts his past/family that is probably one of the most gut wrenching things I’ve read in my life.

There’s a lot of honesty in this book, even with Wallace admitting the ways he even has misjudged or characterized his friends, making it an even more compelling read.

The most human, but frustrating part, about this novel is the lack of confrontation or character development in Wallace. We do not see any retribution for the racism he experiences, or the physical abuse inflicted upon him by a lover, or just generally how awful (I think) his friends are. But sometimes, that’s Real Life 🤪. There’s no perfect resolution, but that does makes sense for a character who is committed to shedding the past in an attempt to become something new, but insincere, in the face of his community & environment.

This novel is special. It was still a Campus Novel, but to center a black and queer experience allowed for an added layer of reflection that was particularly poignant. I laughed in recognition at the Hell of doing anything within the sciences, the consistent doubt that is cast upon you by peers/leaders, and trying to understand how to mold yourself into dimensions that people can understand. I’m excited to read his short stories next, and looking forward to his next novel coming out this year.

4.25 Stars
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