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nclcaitlin's reviews
1731 reviews
Dark Matter by Blake Crouch
2.25
I can cut out cardboard figures better than the characters of his wife and son.
This felt like a more sci-fi heavy The Midnight Library.
Jason is an intensely devoted family man with a lackluster career. On the way back from the bar one night, he is abducted by a stranger and held at gun point. He is injected with something and then finds himself in a disorienting world both similar and different from his "real" life. A parallel universe.
Did this play out like a movie in my head? No, but I have aphantasia, but I can see this making a cool movie or tv show (Apple TV+ caught on!)
Until everything topples, we have no idea what we actually have, how precariously and perfectly it all hangs together.
I don’t think I would recommend this to others. I kept waiting to be wowed or shocked by this extremely hyped up thriller. However, I just felt frustrated and wanting Jason to become someone more than a one-dimensional man longing for home. I think I would also be desperate to get back, but it feels like every other sentence relates to it, and this gets boring fast.
Fictional main characters aren’t supposed to be so whiny.
And then the end? How did he manage that when the rest of the story was him being helplessly useless?!
Sorry, I really wanted to love this more than I did.
I probably will still try Recursion but I wasn’t a fan of Wayward Pines either.
This felt like a more sci-fi heavy The Midnight Library.
Jason is an intensely devoted family man with a lackluster career. On the way back from the bar one night, he is abducted by a stranger and held at gun point. He is injected with something and then finds himself in a disorienting world both similar and different from his "real" life. A parallel universe.
Did this play out like a movie in my head? No, but I have aphantasia, but I can see this making a cool movie or tv show (Apple TV+ caught on!)
Until everything topples, we have no idea what we actually have, how precariously and perfectly it all hangs together.
I don’t think I would recommend this to others. I kept waiting to be wowed or shocked by this extremely hyped up thriller. However, I just felt frustrated and wanting Jason to become someone more than a one-dimensional man longing for home. I think I would also be desperate to get back, but it feels like every other sentence relates to it, and this gets boring fast.
Fictional main characters aren’t supposed to be so whiny.
And then the end? How did he manage that when the rest of the story was him being helplessly useless?!
Sorry, I really wanted to love this more than I did.
I probably will still try Recursion but I wasn’t a fan of Wayward Pines either.
Paris: The Memoir by Paris Hilton
A memoir about the IT girl who, at 42, has now been famous for being famous for most of her life.
Like many others, I had no idea of the abuse Paris suffered at the hands of an institution that advertised as helping 'difficult' teenagers which began with them kidnapping her from her
bed in the middle of the night.
The was written to reflect Paris’ own unique way of thinking with her ADHD brain, not following a traditional linear narrative and going off on little tangents. This made it feel more like an intimate conversation rather than a professionally written autobiography.
Here’s what I believe: Your reality is totally up for grabs; if you don’t create your own life, someone else will create something based on their own agenda and project that on you. Don’t let them do it, my loves. Don’t let them tell you that their something is bigger than your everything.
However, whilst there is a marketing focus on exposing the Trouble Teen Industry, I feel other memoirs have achieved this better - I’m glad my mom died, The opposite of butterfly hunting.
I don’t like rating memoirs that I don’t immediately feel changed me, or impacted me in a great way. Especially in this case where I didn’t know much about Paris before listening to this memoir!
Thank you to Harper Collins Audio for providing the audiobook in exchange for a review.
Like many others, I had no idea of the abuse Paris suffered at the hands of an institution that advertised as helping 'difficult' teenagers which began with them kidnapping her from her
bed in the middle of the night.
The was written to reflect Paris’ own unique way of thinking with her ADHD brain, not following a traditional linear narrative and going off on little tangents. This made it feel more like an intimate conversation rather than a professionally written autobiography.
Here’s what I believe: Your reality is totally up for grabs; if you don’t create your own life, someone else will create something based on their own agenda and project that on you. Don’t let them do it, my loves. Don’t let them tell you that their something is bigger than your everything.
However, whilst there is a marketing focus on exposing the Trouble Teen Industry, I feel other memoirs have achieved this better - I’m glad my mom died, The opposite of butterfly hunting.
I don’t like rating memoirs that I don’t immediately feel changed me, or impacted me in a great way. Especially in this case where I didn’t know much about Paris before listening to this memoir!
Thank you to Harper Collins Audio for providing the audiobook in exchange for a review.
Witch Queen of Redwinter by Ed McDonald
3.25
This series is like Gideon the Ninth but way more teenage angst and fantasy rather than sci fi. But still the end of the world.
Raine, Esher, and Sanvaunt had escaped to another realm, a place of myth known as the Fault, even as the king of Harranir passed on and the power of the Crown was lost. The power that stabilised the world or otherwise saw its end.
In the Fault, a darker place filled with monsters no one can imagine, the trio track the Queen of Feathers to find a way to escape the nightmare world.
’Find me a trouble in the world and I'll show you a frightened, self-absorbed man behind it,’ Esher said.
There’s a major love triangle going on here, and similar to my complaints from book two, way too much focus was put on this rather than the, you know, actual end of the world doom and gloom.
I get that they’re teenagers or young adults, but I feel you would have less time to be so jealous and caught up in pity tempers when facing your destruction around every bend. It just felt extremely childish and annoying.
It is slightly disappointing as I LOVED book one so much and had high hopes that book three would pull itself back from the slightly disappointing book two. Yet, McDonald seems to have more of a focus on teen drama than the more interesting necromantic elements.
That’s not to say the darkness was ever downplayed. This is a dark and gritty world with such an interesting magic system consisting of souls and Gates and energy!
Not to mention, McDonald’s writing skills is not to be underestimated. How he uses language to evoke emotions and puts into words an amalgamation of thoughts and feelings previously inexpressible.
We're made of the things that happen to us as much as we are our father and mother. Bits of the world embed themselves, become prints against our skin. They become scars on our bones, words that we speak and the shadows beneath our eyes. We're all of those experiences, good and bad, and they make us anew with every dawn and leave us changed with the setting of every sun.
I was let down by the ending and felt slightly cheated, but it also felt quite apt and circular, so I feel like this will just depend on personal preference and expectations.
Thank you to Tor Books for providing an arc in exchange for a review!
Raine, Esher, and Sanvaunt had escaped to another realm, a place of myth known as the Fault, even as the king of Harranir passed on and the power of the Crown was lost. The power that stabilised the world or otherwise saw its end.
In the Fault, a darker place filled with monsters no one can imagine, the trio track the Queen of Feathers to find a way to escape the nightmare world.
’Find me a trouble in the world and I'll show you a frightened, self-absorbed man behind it,’ Esher said.
There’s a major love triangle going on here, and similar to my complaints from book two, way too much focus was put on this rather than the, you know, actual end of the world doom and gloom.
I get that they’re teenagers or young adults, but I feel you would have less time to be so jealous and caught up in pity tempers when facing your destruction around every bend. It just felt extremely childish and annoying.
It is slightly disappointing as I LOVED book one so much and had high hopes that book three would pull itself back from the slightly disappointing book two. Yet, McDonald seems to have more of a focus on teen drama than the more interesting necromantic elements.
That’s not to say the darkness was ever downplayed. This is a dark and gritty world with such an interesting magic system consisting of souls and Gates and energy!
Not to mention, McDonald’s writing skills is not to be underestimated. How he uses language to evoke emotions and puts into words an amalgamation of thoughts and feelings previously inexpressible.
We're made of the things that happen to us as much as we are our father and mother. Bits of the world embed themselves, become prints against our skin. They become scars on our bones, words that we speak and the shadows beneath our eyes. We're all of those experiences, good and bad, and they make us anew with every dawn and leave us changed with the setting of every sun.
I was let down by the ending and felt slightly cheated, but it also felt quite apt and circular, so I feel like this will just depend on personal preference and expectations.
Thank you to Tor Books for providing an arc in exchange for a review!
Compound Fracture by Andrew Joseph White
4.0
Miles, a trans autistic teen finds evidence of injustices in his Appalachian small town perpetrated by the local sheriff. After being nearly beaten to death, he and his friend Cooper, whose family has also been affected by the crime, must reckon with a generational family feud with the Sheriff.
Cooper is a golden retriever in a human body.
A retriever with teeth, sure, but big and sweet enough you don't notice.
Not to mention there’s a dog called Lady!
The representation of autism and anxiety was handled so well. Everyone experiences things differently, but Miles was such an authentic character and the stream of conciseness we sometimes got provided such a solid and convincing realistic portrayal and character.
I'm not autistic. I'm weird and socially inept and a picky eater and had to be taught how to smile and made to stop chewing my hair and can't spend more than a few minutes around people before I want to crawl out of my skin and can't take a shower without losing my shit over it and I don't understand people at all.
I'm not autistic. I'm some unsocialized dog.
White has such an addictive way of writing. It is raw. It is brutal. It is honest.
You can feel the rage dripping from their writing that makes it thrilling, pulse-pounding, and enraging.
This has a heavy theme of communism and socialism. It is basically a huge ‘F you’ to the Trump movement and the two parties dictating American politics. In this sense, beware. This is a very timely, heavy, relevant piece that could induce stress and anxiety for the current climate and future. As I don’t live in America, I don’t think this hit me as hard as it might other readers. But I could still feel the impact.
Books that make you think about the world we live in are very powerful and needed to reflect on how we are evolving as society.
I don't got anxiety or nothing. No more than I need to stay in one piece around here, at least. I just-
I don't know. People are too much work, and I don't like most of them.
This begs the question: how do we stop the cycle? Is it okay to get revenge, to strike back, if it’s to further a cause? To hurt others as you were hurt?
Thank you to the publisher for sending me an arc in exchange for a review!
Cooper is a golden retriever in a human body.
A retriever with teeth, sure, but big and sweet enough you don't notice.
Not to mention there’s a dog called Lady!
The representation of autism and anxiety was handled so well. Everyone experiences things differently, but Miles was such an authentic character and the stream of conciseness we sometimes got provided such a solid and convincing realistic portrayal and character.
I'm not autistic. I'm weird and socially inept and a picky eater and had to be taught how to smile and made to stop chewing my hair and can't spend more than a few minutes around people before I want to crawl out of my skin and can't take a shower without losing my shit over it and I don't understand people at all.
I'm not autistic. I'm some unsocialized dog.
White has such an addictive way of writing. It is raw. It is brutal. It is honest.
You can feel the rage dripping from their writing that makes it thrilling, pulse-pounding, and enraging.
This has a heavy theme of communism and socialism. It is basically a huge ‘F you’ to the Trump movement and the two parties dictating American politics. In this sense, beware. This is a very timely, heavy, relevant piece that could induce stress and anxiety for the current climate and future. As I don’t live in America, I don’t think this hit me as hard as it might other readers. But I could still feel the impact.
Books that make you think about the world we live in are very powerful and needed to reflect on how we are evolving as society.
I don't got anxiety or nothing. No more than I need to stay in one piece around here, at least. I just-
I don't know. People are too much work, and I don't like most of them.
This begs the question: how do we stop the cycle? Is it okay to get revenge, to strike back, if it’s to further a cause? To hurt others as you were hurt?
Thank you to the publisher for sending me an arc in exchange for a review!
The Tyrant Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson
3.75
If Baru reveals the Cancrioth, alive and powerful after a thousand years in hiding, the Oriati Mbo will look to the cancer cultists for protection against Falcrest. They will abandon trim.
This would cause a civil war.
A democlysm: death like no dying the world has ever seen. And once the old ways are torn down, once the Princes are overthrown and the mbo is shattered... then Falcrest can get inside whatever's left. Digest them, make them the Imperial’s possession.
However, Baru really sought the Cancrioth to obtain a weapon or an advantage that could destroy Falcrest. To root them out of her home.
“You were in deepest despair yesterday. You thought that all was lost, that you were going to die. You struck the bottom of your fall. And suddenly you were so high, so free, and everything was all right. But really what's happened is that you struck bottom so hard you bounced. Now you're sinking again. This is how it goes, Baru. There's no magical way out.”
You can clearly see how Falcrest is like a parasite. It needs to grow stronger and bigger to sustain itself which means consuming and destroying others.
Dickenson brings together characters in such a dynamic and incredible way to test loyalties, reveal truths, lies, and the innermost desires and plans of characters they deny even to themselves.
It’s paralysing. Breathtaking. Genius.
This entire book, this series, is a whole conversation debating nature v nurture. This will decide the fate of the world, of how Falcrest will proceed and invade and conquer.
I find it so interesting and I want to know the outcome too!!!
“Hesychast the eugenicist says, we must breed the perfect citizen. "And against him, Itinerant the trader says, we must teach them to rule themselves.”
I did not realise this was an uncompleted series and now I am feeling unmoored.
This would cause a civil war.
A democlysm: death like no dying the world has ever seen. And once the old ways are torn down, once the Princes are overthrown and the mbo is shattered... then Falcrest can get inside whatever's left. Digest them, make them the Imperial’s possession.
However, Baru really sought the Cancrioth to obtain a weapon or an advantage that could destroy Falcrest. To root them out of her home.
“You were in deepest despair yesterday. You thought that all was lost, that you were going to die. You struck the bottom of your fall. And suddenly you were so high, so free, and everything was all right. But really what's happened is that you struck bottom so hard you bounced. Now you're sinking again. This is how it goes, Baru. There's no magical way out.”
You can clearly see how Falcrest is like a parasite. It needs to grow stronger and bigger to sustain itself which means consuming and destroying others.
Dickenson brings together characters in such a dynamic and incredible way to test loyalties, reveal truths, lies, and the innermost desires and plans of characters they deny even to themselves.
It’s paralysing. Breathtaking. Genius.
This entire book, this series, is a whole conversation debating nature v nurture. This will decide the fate of the world, of how Falcrest will proceed and invade and conquer.
I find it so interesting and I want to know the outcome too!!!
“Hesychast the eugenicist says, we must breed the perfect citizen. "And against him, Itinerant the trader says, we must teach them to rule themselves.”
I did not realise this was an uncompleted series and now I am feeling unmoored.
The Temple of Fortuna by Elodie Harper
3.25
Amara is now a freedwoman, able to rub elbows with the elite in Rome. Amara’s daughter real father must remain a secret in order to protect her past lover and their child, forcing them to live separate lives as she lived in the capital.
Ever looming is the, unknown to the cast but awaited by the readers, eruption of Mount Vesuvius. When faced with the devastation, Amara’s ambitions and plays for power disappear as she can only worry about her friends and loved ones who have remained in Pompeii.
The Temple of Fortuna sees Amara struggle more with what she wants out of her life - for herself, for her daughter, for the world and memories she has left behind, and the one she now claims. For her future, she must give up her past which includes the good.
I was eager for this final instalment as many fellow reviewers gushed how this cemented this trilogy as one of their favourites. That being said, book two remains my favourite and this book felt slightly disappointing because of it. It felt more gossipy rather than the powerful political moves Amara made in previous books
Never let your expectations soar past salvage!
Ever looming is the, unknown to the cast but awaited by the readers, eruption of Mount Vesuvius. When faced with the devastation, Amara’s ambitions and plays for power disappear as she can only worry about her friends and loved ones who have remained in Pompeii.
The Temple of Fortuna sees Amara struggle more with what she wants out of her life - for herself, for her daughter, for the world and memories she has left behind, and the one she now claims. For her future, she must give up her past which includes the good.
I was eager for this final instalment as many fellow reviewers gushed how this cemented this trilogy as one of their favourites. That being said, book two remains my favourite and this book felt slightly disappointing because of it. It felt more gossipy rather than the powerful political moves Amara made in previous books
Never let your expectations soar past salvage!
If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe by Jason Pargin
2.0
A hilarious tale of Armageddon and the three hopelessly inept friends who must act as functional humans, investigators, and heroes .
Dave, John, and Amy live in a town sitting on a hole in a fabric of reality from which interdimensional entities repeatedly attempt to break through.
Dave and John are frequently called upon by both police and local inhabitants, to solve bizarre issues even though a surprisingly large percentage of such calls end up being mundane nonsense.
This time, it’s a possessed toy that actually houses an otherworldly monstrosity that’s enticing impressionable wayward youth into murdering folks and feeding it to trigger the end of the world.
3. Never Forget That You Are Meat The one thing we know for sure about our possibly simulated world is that we are experiencing it via meat. All your thoughts are running through meat, and therefore, a lot of what you’re perceiving about the universe is just meat stuff. Feel like the world is doomed? There’s a good chance that’s only because your meat isn’t getting enough sleep. Mad at everyone? It might just be that your meat is hungry. In a state of panic? Take deep breaths—you might just not have enough oxygen in your blood. If the world feels off to you, always check your meat first.
I did not realise this was book four of a series until I went back to read other reviews. Oops.
That tells you how good the author is at immersing yourself in this world.
Also, I thought my utter cluelessness to start with added to the utter wackiness of the premise and story.
However, the author does state that this series has been designed to each book can be read as a standalone.
The audiobook format worked so well!
Dave is the main narrator of the story, relating events to the reader in first-person, while John and Amy buoy the narrative with their third-person accounts.
The most effective manipulation always comes with the illusion of choice; it feels less like a whip and more like quenching a thirst
This was fun, until the whole timey-whimey stuff came into play. I normally dislike time travel or flexible rules. This book reminded me why.
It just made it unnecessarily confusing and frustrating and made it feel like nothing really mattered.
This started as a strong three stars but then the latter half turned into two stars.
However, I also have to admit my review might be slanted as this is a book four even if it can technically be read by itself!
Dave, John, and Amy live in a town sitting on a hole in a fabric of reality from which interdimensional entities repeatedly attempt to break through.
Dave and John are frequently called upon by both police and local inhabitants, to solve bizarre issues even though a surprisingly large percentage of such calls end up being mundane nonsense.
This time, it’s a possessed toy that actually houses an otherworldly monstrosity that’s enticing impressionable wayward youth into murdering folks and feeding it to trigger the end of the world.
3. Never Forget That You Are Meat The one thing we know for sure about our possibly simulated world is that we are experiencing it via meat. All your thoughts are running through meat, and therefore, a lot of what you’re perceiving about the universe is just meat stuff. Feel like the world is doomed? There’s a good chance that’s only because your meat isn’t getting enough sleep. Mad at everyone? It might just be that your meat is hungry. In a state of panic? Take deep breaths—you might just not have enough oxygen in your blood. If the world feels off to you, always check your meat first.
I did not realise this was book four of a series until I went back to read other reviews. Oops.
That tells you how good the author is at immersing yourself in this world.
Also, I thought my utter cluelessness to start with added to the utter wackiness of the premise and story.
However, the author does state that this series has been designed to each book can be read as a standalone.
The audiobook format worked so well!
Dave is the main narrator of the story, relating events to the reader in first-person, while John and Amy buoy the narrative with their third-person accounts.
The most effective manipulation always comes with the illusion of choice; it feels less like a whip and more like quenching a thirst
This was fun, until the whole timey-whimey stuff came into play. I normally dislike time travel or flexible rules. This book reminded me why.
It just made it unnecessarily confusing and frustrating and made it feel like nothing really mattered.
This started as a strong three stars but then the latter half turned into two stars.
However, I also have to admit my review might be slanted as this is a book four even if it can technically be read by itself!
The Monster Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson
4.5
Falcrest would in time swallow the world unless Baru Cormorant disemboweled the empire from within.
Following her betrayal, Baru becomes a cryptarch: secret lord of the Imperial Throne. She calls herself Agonist, meaning the one who struggles.
Aminata Lieutenant Commander in the Navy of the Imperial Republic is marooned and recruited (forced to participate in order to protect Baru) to interrogate an important Oriati who is a pawn.
Aminata’s job is to find the agents who are working to provoke war between the Imperial Republic of Falcrest and the Federations of Oriati Mbo.
Baru’s power is secret, and in secret it is total, but to use her power she must touch the world.
We all force our true selves into little hashes and show them like passwords. A smile is a hashing function, and a word, and a cry. The cry is not the grief, the word is not the meaning, the smile is not the joy.
Oriati is interesting as it is the antithesis to the republic where power is concentrated. Instead, in Oriati, the power is shared amongst the commons.
With multiple POVs and flashbacks, we get to see how different characters ended up where they are, how they became trapped in the game, and where their motivations lie. This was deliciously devious and fascinating.
By introducing new lands and cultures, we can question what right Baru has to "save" Taranoke?
Baru questions how she could pretend that the culture of her childhood was the right one, the one that had to be preserved, rather than the culture of a hundred years before or a hundred years after.
A culture wasn't a final product, like a cup of coffee in alabaster, or a sordid climax in an execution alley. People didn't have culture, they did culture. In fact, culture was like a mill: it accepted knowledge and people, and it changed them in certain ways, and it even redesigned itself in the process. Change was intrinsic to culture.
I don’t know why book two was less well received than book one. For me, this was even better!!
Baru reminds me of Rin from the Poppy War!
Following her betrayal, Baru becomes a cryptarch: secret lord of the Imperial Throne. She calls herself Agonist, meaning the one who struggles.
Aminata Lieutenant Commander in the Navy of the Imperial Republic is marooned and recruited (forced to participate in order to protect Baru) to interrogate an important Oriati who is a pawn.
Aminata’s job is to find the agents who are working to provoke war between the Imperial Republic of Falcrest and the Federations of Oriati Mbo.
Baru’s power is secret, and in secret it is total, but to use her power she must touch the world.
We all force our true selves into little hashes and show them like passwords. A smile is a hashing function, and a word, and a cry. The cry is not the grief, the word is not the meaning, the smile is not the joy.
Oriati is interesting as it is the antithesis to the republic where power is concentrated. Instead, in Oriati, the power is shared amongst the commons.
With multiple POVs and flashbacks, we get to see how different characters ended up where they are, how they became trapped in the game, and where their motivations lie. This was deliciously devious and fascinating.
By introducing new lands and cultures, we can question what right Baru has to "save" Taranoke?
Baru questions how she could pretend that the culture of her childhood was the right one, the one that had to be preserved, rather than the culture of a hundred years before or a hundred years after.
A culture wasn't a final product, like a cup of coffee in alabaster, or a sordid climax in an execution alley. People didn't have culture, they did culture. In fact, culture was like a mill: it accepted knowledge and people, and it changed them in certain ways, and it even redesigned itself in the process. Change was intrinsic to culture.
I don’t know why book two was less well received than book one. For me, this was even better!!
Baru reminds me of Rin from the Poppy War!
The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson
4.0
Baru’s home is taken over by the Imperial Rebukic, the Masquerade. A mechanism of rule building itself from the work of so many million hands. Remorseless not out of cruelty or hate but because it was too vast and too set on its destiny to care for the small tragedies of its growth.
Baru vows to play their game, learn their secrets. But it would only ever be a mask. If the Masquerade could not be stopped by spear or treaty, she would change it from within.
Baru passes the civil service exam with flying colours and becomes the youngest Imperial Accountant in decades, sent to the Federated Province of troubled Aurdwynn and its thirteen treacherous dukes. A test? An exile? Or has Baru being thrown to the wolves?
”The tide is coming in," he said. "The ocean has reached this little pool. There will be turbulence, and confusion, and ruin. This is what happens when something small joins something vast. But—" Later she would hold to this moment, because it felt that he had offered her something true and grown-up and powerful rather than a lie to shield her. "When the joining is done there will be a sea for you to swim in."
Baru is incredibly astute, but struggles with the practises of the overreaching power and control of the Masquerade. Her province is considered backwards filled with diseases of tribadism and sodomy must be eradicated from the body and the bloodline. However, Baru grew up in a loving family with two fathers and a huntress mother.
This takes imperialism to the extreme, reeducating, conditioning, and even controlling populations through controlled games of heredity and eugenics. Reparatory childbearing. Women confiscated and sown like repossessed earth.
In this system, everyone is someone else's instrument and Baru must become entirely devoted, outside and in. Able to hide any emotion, pretend to be anyone.
To save her home, she must lose herself. Is this a worthy price to pay?
Was it really slavery if the slave was grateful? If that gratitude had been hammered into the alloy of his being?
This is a book where I highlighted so many things.
I was astounded, touched, enraged, enlightened. I was awed. This book will stay with me for a while.
If you enjoyed The Goblin Emperor, The Hands of the Emperor, or Orconomics, I would recommend this or vice versa!
Baru vows to play their game, learn their secrets. But it would only ever be a mask. If the Masquerade could not be stopped by spear or treaty, she would change it from within.
Baru passes the civil service exam with flying colours and becomes the youngest Imperial Accountant in decades, sent to the Federated Province of troubled Aurdwynn and its thirteen treacherous dukes. A test? An exile? Or has Baru being thrown to the wolves?
”The tide is coming in," he said. "The ocean has reached this little pool. There will be turbulence, and confusion, and ruin. This is what happens when something small joins something vast. But—" Later she would hold to this moment, because it felt that he had offered her something true and grown-up and powerful rather than a lie to shield her. "When the joining is done there will be a sea for you to swim in."
Baru is incredibly astute, but struggles with the practises of the overreaching power and control of the Masquerade. Her province is considered backwards filled with diseases of tribadism and sodomy must be eradicated from the body and the bloodline. However, Baru grew up in a loving family with two fathers and a huntress mother.
This takes imperialism to the extreme, reeducating, conditioning, and even controlling populations through controlled games of heredity and eugenics. Reparatory childbearing. Women confiscated and sown like repossessed earth.
In this system, everyone is someone else's instrument and Baru must become entirely devoted, outside and in. Able to hide any emotion, pretend to be anyone.
To save her home, she must lose herself. Is this a worthy price to pay?
Was it really slavery if the slave was grateful? If that gratitude had been hammered into the alloy of his being?
This is a book where I highlighted so many things.
I was astounded, touched, enraged, enlightened. I was awed. This book will stay with me for a while.
If you enjoyed The Goblin Emperor, The Hands of the Emperor, or Orconomics, I would recommend this or vice versa!
Off With Their Heads by Zoe Hana Mikuta
2.25
A queer, Korean Alice in Wonderland retelling full of bloody viciousness and twisted magic.
This felt like what I think an acid trip would be like. So apt for an Alice retelling, but ultimately it didn’t work for me.
Caro, Icca, and Tecca are inseparable, sharing a fascination with magic and a disdain for their backwater Ward.
When tragedy strikes, Caro and Icca are sent to Wonderland Forest where they’re at the mercy of the vicious, ravenous Saints.
If they claim four Saints’ heads, they’ll be freed, but the strains of Wonderland cause their love to decay and they separate.
However, the new Red Queen has her own plans for the Saints—and for Caro and Icca, too—yearning to twist them into something new.
This beautifully and horrifically explores grief, obsession, and the fine line to dance between love and hate, intense passion blurring sides.
AKA toxic lesbianism.
Good wouldn’t keep her alive. Good would barely keep her entertained.
This started extremely strong and I was enraptured by the author’s writing. Not to mention, the unique exciting premise and the amazing audiobook narrator but it quickly got bogged down.
We get it. They hate each other. They are evil. They love pain.
The audiobook narrator was incredible and really brought the story alive, but following the story along was near impossible.
I had no idea what was going on and things seemed to happen just for the characters to have another epic evil monologue. They were fun to start with and then got quickly repetitive and unnecessary.
Surely, she must keep running and running, getting wickeder and wickeder—she must be the villain of this story, because with what she’d done to Caro, she had made clear she wasn’t the hero, and to be a side character! A fate worse than death, certainly…
DNF at 70%. Second of the year :(( - June.
This felt like what I think an acid trip would be like. So apt for an Alice retelling, but ultimately it didn’t work for me.
Caro, Icca, and Tecca are inseparable, sharing a fascination with magic and a disdain for their backwater Ward.
When tragedy strikes, Caro and Icca are sent to Wonderland Forest where they’re at the mercy of the vicious, ravenous Saints.
If they claim four Saints’ heads, they’ll be freed, but the strains of Wonderland cause their love to decay and they separate.
However, the new Red Queen has her own plans for the Saints—and for Caro and Icca, too—yearning to twist them into something new.
This beautifully and horrifically explores grief, obsession, and the fine line to dance between love and hate, intense passion blurring sides.
AKA toxic lesbianism.
Good wouldn’t keep her alive. Good would barely keep her entertained.
This started extremely strong and I was enraptured by the author’s writing. Not to mention, the unique exciting premise and the amazing audiobook narrator but it quickly got bogged down.
We get it. They hate each other. They are evil. They love pain.
The audiobook narrator was incredible and really brought the story alive, but following the story along was near impossible.
I had no idea what was going on and things seemed to happen just for the characters to have another epic evil monologue. They were fun to start with and then got quickly repetitive and unnecessary.
Surely, she must keep running and running, getting wickeder and wickeder—she must be the villain of this story, because with what she’d done to Caro, she had made clear she wasn’t the hero, and to be a side character! A fate worse than death, certainly…
DNF at 70%. Second of the year :(( - June.